But later that night, I’m sad to say, it was time for Hank to grow up! The game gave him an even uglier outfit than he had before. But I am pleased that it did not correct his Sim-pattern baldness.

I’m even sadder to report that the first thing Hank did was pee his pants in the kitchen.

I made Carissa mop it up.

Later, Hank consoled himself with a bit of Underpants Gardening.

Nothing cheers you up like gardening in your underpants!

Then they fell in love all over again!

Meanwhile I’ve sent darling Rusty to playing the guitar. With an outfit like that, OF COURSE he has to become a rock star!

The next day, I realized around noon that naughty Rusty had skipped school. At least he did his homework without prompting.

How he can concentrate with that wallpaper shouting at the dinner table, I’ll never know.

After the crash last time, the clock was reset back to before Mort’s birthday. This time I let Henry sleep in, instead of waking him up early to clean house for the party.

I was able to invite Willie and Tyler Spline again. That’s Willie in the bright green pants!

Mort aged into an outfit that was different, but still ugly.

Henry missed the cake-cutting. He was busy peeing his pants… in the bathroom.

Downstairs, I had Rusty blow out the candles and grow up, too.

“Plaid pants! ROCK ON!”

Well that outfit clearly wouldn’t do. I chose something better.

AW YEAH! You can’t really tell, but those are snakeskin cowboy boots. (I mean, what else would you wear with super-tight high-waisted acid wash stretch jeans?)

Then she fell madly in love. Cold, dead eyes and all.

Henry did a bit of gardening.

While Mort played that stupid yard game.

Later that day, we threw a birthday party for Mort. Tyler Spline’s ghost showed up! Here, Rusty is introducing himself to his Great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

There’s no way Tyler’s ghost should still be around. Hm, that’s a glitch. Not a good sign.

Willie Spline also showed up! Willie is from the other branch of the family, the one that resulted when the four non-heirs got kicked out of the house.

As you can see, he inherited Delphine’s hair!

Then Mort blew out his candles and aged into this super fabulous outfit.

I had him phone his job and retire. The game asked me to confirm his retirement, and noted that his pension would be -§1,654.235 per day. Negative! Per day!

This intrigued me, so I clicked OK. And then the game crashed, and it was all lost.

Le sigh.

This is a screenshot of the Paranormal Memento, combined with a leopard spot pattern, a rubber duckie, and a skull and crossbones.

Then I created this pattern using a funny picture of my cat.

Awesome, right?!

Then I bought them a new car and gave it a marbled pattern. You know; to make it classier.

And I finished up by taking Mimsical’s suggestion and adding some plants along the back wall of the house.

Oh, and then I switched back into gameplay mode and Rusty grew up into a little boy!

OKAY THAT’S COOL WHATEVER NOW WHAT ELSE CAN I USE TO MAKE THEM SOME WALLPAPER?

Better, but it still lacks zazz. I’m seriously thinking about buying some Home & Garden-style magazines for inspiration.

Mort has now gone 2 career levels past Ghost Hunter level 10. I’m as bored with this as the homeowner (center) is.

But I can’t stop, because it seems that every time you fill up the Experience bar, the mayor throws you a party!

This time Mort received the “Paranormal Memento.”

The fog really, you know, fogs around! Other than that it just… sits there. But hey! Active fog!

Henry was then able to reprogram her. (I gave her the Neat and Natural Chef traits to make her more useful). But when he tried to repair her, things went badly.

Luckily he was able to phone a repair technician for Carissa, and shower the scorch marks off himself.

Later that day, he did a bit of gardening.

Looking at that picture, I feel like I should put a decorative border around the garden. What can I say? Landscaping was never my strong suit.

Speaking of suits!

I noticed today that Rusty’s pajamas have a little fluffy bunny tail!

But at least I don’t feel bad about waking her up to care for the baby. That would be baby Rusty Spline, by the way. (I wrote it down this time!)

Of course, Henry always rushes to care for the baby, even if he’s sound asleep on the far side of the house. Robot Carissa usually beats him to it, though. So he stands around idly, looking out the window and thinking about clean laundry.

(I do that, too.)

Meanwhile I really want to see if there’s a Level 11 to this Ghost Hunting thing. It was Mort’s day off, so I made him boost his Logic skill by playing chess all day.

There is not one single color in that screenshot that goes with any other color in it.

Having finished caring for the baby, Robot Carissa goes back to sleep. Robots snore in 1s and 0s.

The next day, Baby Rusty grew into a toddler!

Quick, send in the robot to keep him company! (If that’s not a recipe for future therapy sessions, I don’t know what is.)

Welcome, Baby… um… Baby Spline! (I forgot to write down the name, and then forgot the name. Who forgets the name of their baby? What can I say… I have cats.)

To welcome the new arrival, I added a new wing to Spline Manor.

And a courtyard garden, as well.

Mort did so well at the Ghost Hunting thing that the mayor gave him the key to the city!

There was a little ticker-tape party and everything!

I imagine he’ll be insufferable now. (I know I would be!)

Mort looks as bored about catching that spirit as I feel.

In other news, we got a robot! Mort finally had enough Lifetime Happiness points to exchange for a SimBot. The game named her Carissa, and sent her over by cab.

She’s… exactly like a person Sim, except she makes funny noises and looks different. Kind of like the playable ghosts except… more metallic.

Hate to sound jaded, but color me unenthused.