It makes him look rather Ozzy Osborne, doesn’t it? I think it’s the combination of his advanced age (91) and all that eyeliner.

When not applying makeup to helpless old men, I busied myself making the girls do their homework.

Tragedy! I forgot to pay a bill, and their dollhouse was repo’d.

Once the girls finished their homework, as a reward I sent them out with Willis to the beach just over the cliff.

They had a blast fishing, even though they didn’t catch a thing.

Please note they are basically wearing the same outfit.

Meanwhile, Kay kept plugging away at her novels. She finished a Drama novel I named Trist-Sim Shandy and a Mystery novel I named Murder on the Shang Simla Express.

“No one will find me in here!”

Finally the toddlers grew into little girls.

Opal looks really fretful about the toilet situation!

(Kay is smiling while thinking about a politician’s podium. I decided that she must be thinking about something funny she saw on The Daily Show. Happens to me all the time.)

My secret to having twins is to play the radio set to the Kids station during the entire pregnancy. That damned Kids music about drives me crazy, but it does the trick. If you’re pressed for time, double down by playing the Kids radio station while your pregnant Sim reads a pregnancy book.

Willis can now swing into action, acting as the primary caregiver while Kay works on her novels. He does a pretty good job of taking care of the babies.

Lullaby, baby spliff
May you sleep through the whole night
I won’t smoke you, I promise,
It’s better than making maggot jokes.

While reading something else, Willis is of course thinking about the timeless classic, Grant Rodiek, Point Farmer Murder in Pleasantview.

Later, their dishwasher broke down, and I made Willis fix it. Does anything look more dangerous than jabbing a screwdriver into the guts of a smoking, sparking dishwasher, while kneeling in a big puddle?

Sadly, he turned out fine. Fixed the dishwasher; boosted his Handiness skill. Bo-ring.

At the same time, Kay wanted to go to the spa. After she finished her session of Shiatsu massage, she went into labor.

Right there on the sidewalk, how embarrassing!

They were wed in the living room that afternoon.

I’m a little skeptical of the groom’s choice of a “formal robe,” but hey.

I decided to have her propose marriage.

Sadly, he refused that offer. But he did take her up on her next offer.

She even ignored her cell phone for him (that’s the source of the musical notes on the right).

Although Priscilla didn’t recognize Kay as a relative, and they didn’t get along. Too bad, because I had started to think about ways Kay could connive herself into that marvelous house!

An unexpected problem: most elder Sims are in committed relationships.

Reggie Hart: Taken.

Duane Magee: Taken.

Willis John: Not taken!

And they, err, got along quite well.

I sent Kay to the gym, because it’s usually crowded. No dice. As a “Couch Potato,” Kay prefers eating ice cream from the gym’s fridge to working out.

(From what I can decipher from the tub, I think the flavor is Orange Pineapple.)

While she was at the gym, I heard the Death music. I kept looking around the gym, to see who had died. As it happens, it was Marla who had died, all alone back at home. When Kay returned home, she found Marla’s urn on the bedroom floor.

I equipped Kay with a laptop. This lets her work on her novel while waiting for an old man to show up.

She has finished a science fiction novel and a fiction novel (which I titled House of Sim-Leaves and Trist-Sim Shandy respectively).

Kay wanted to learn how to paint. But as someone who “Hates the Outdoors,” she hated painting on the easel in the back yard. I built a little painting nook on the second floor of their house, with big windows so she could get plenty of light.

And then it was time to grow up!

I gave her some odd clothes and odd hair, because I have an odd role for her to fill.

Kay’s destiny (I decided) is to be a gold digger. How many old men can you marry and watch die before you yourself die of old age? This is the question I intend to answer.